Motherhood is a beautiful, challenging journey, filled with daily ups and downs. As a mom of three, I’ve discovered what every mom needs to not only survive but thrive in this incredible experience. Whether it’s carving out some much-needed “me” time, finding a sense of purpose beyond motherhood, fostering connections, seeking support, or navigating parenting decisions with respect, every mom deserves the grace to embrace imperfections and acknowledge the superhero within.
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“ME” TIME
All the day-to-day, ins and outs of motherhood can be challenging and exhausting, not just physically, but mentally. The never ending list, the constant “mom, mom, mom” all day long, the sibling fights, the tears, the cries, the tantrums, the NOISE, all of it. It’s a lot! Moms are literally on duty 24/7. Every mom needs a break at some point, at some time. Moms need time for themselves. Moms need to make themselves a priortiy. From someone that does not like to ask for help, this can be hard for some moms to do, admit or to even ask for. I get it because what often comes with a break for moms– guilt!
In reality, there should be no shame or guilt for refueling ourselves. A break does not make us bad moms. It does not mean we don’t love our kids. It does not mean we are not meant for this job. It does not mean we are not fit for this role. It means we need a break before we break. It means we matter too. It means we need to recharge so we can keep being the amazing moms that we are to our kids.
A SENSE OF PURPOSE OUTSIDE OF MOTHERHOOD
My life is currently defined by motherhood right now. How could it not be? I am a stay at home mom to 3 under 4. Being defined by motherhood right now is okay by me. This is my season, but you know what else my season is accompanied with?– a sense of purpose outside of my motherhood role. Don’t you ever doubt your worth or purpose as a mother. God chose you specifically for those babies, but he also made you a woman of your own self worth and value too. You can be defined by motherhood and be more than a mom all in one.
Take your passions, your strengths, your interests, your hobbies and find an outlet for them in a way that you can make possible right now in this season. Being a mom is our most important job, but it’s not all of us. We are so much more too and we need to be able to feel we have a purpose within our motherhood journey as well as outside our mom role.
Connection
Motherhood can be a lonely and sometimes isolating road. Not necessarily on purpose, but it’s a busy season for all. Many days are consumed by our little human beings, and then those days are go on repeat. Moms need to feel connected to something, to someone so we don’t feel alone on this journey because we certainly are not.
It’s easy for moms to feel like no one could possibly understand our challenges (or our victories) and feel we are the only ones going through what we are going through. Yes, our paths and situations may be different but our feelings as moms can be so similar to one another. Connection is what brings us security, a sense of belonging, allows us to feel understood and seen. Connection is what allows us to feel like we are not alone. Personally for me, a lot of times my connection is my faith and turning to my bible.
SUPPORT
Support can look like many things and comes in many different forms, but we all need it as moms. Motherhood is the greatest blessing, but it sure is a roller coaster ride. It doesn’t matter if you are a new mom, a well seasoned mom, a mom of one or a mom of five. We all need support in one way or another. Someone we can vent to without judgement. Someone to be our cheerleader. Someone to validate our feelings. Someone to just give us a listening ear. Someone that we can turn to when we need advice. Someone we can ask questions to. Someone to give us a helping hand. Someone to brighten our day. Someone to tell us “I’ve got the kids, go do something for you.” Someone to tell us we are doing a dang good job.
If you are looking for a great mom support book, one that you feel like you’ll be able to relate to and feel understood is Enjoy Every Minute: And Other Ridiculous Things We Say to Moms by Becky Baudouin.
RESPECT WITH OUR PARENTING DECISIONS
Oh this can be a tough one in today’s world. There are so many conflicting opinions on how to parent, what is right and what is wrong, what to do and what not to do. And trust me, we all have those opinions before we become a parent too. Guilty. Once you actually become a parent, you realize you never got the “how to” manual nor does it even exist. You just do it and you do it as you go. You do it the best you can with what you know and what you have. Parenting is a lot of trial and error. Parenting is a lot of learning and growing. Parenting is not a one size fits all. Everyone is different, every kid is different. What works for one doesn’t always work for the other.
Guilt and shame consume moms all the time. There is no one else that is judging and questioning our actions more than ourselves. Moms don’t need judgment on what we do, how we do it, or why we do it; we need respect that as moms we are making decisions based on what we feel is best, at that time and in that situation. Sure, can we be in the wrong? Absolutely, but please don’t make a mom doubt herself more than she already has.
GRACE
You will never be able to convince me that moms are not superheroes. Everyday we get up and we do the dang thing regardless of how we feel, regardless of the circumstances. We give our kids love, we take care of their needs (a lot of the times before our own) all day long, every day. That is our job, that is our role and there is nothing greater than that.
But during all the love and meeting all the needs, we mess up. We do. We do things we shouldn’t. There are times we could have done things a little better, a lot better. We drop the ball. We fall apart. We yell when we say we wouldn’t. We get frustrated when we said we would we be patient. We forget things. We give in to things we shouldn’t. We take the easy way out at times. Sometimes we choose convenient over practical. We don’t always meet our expectations.
In all our imperfections and our mistakes (because we all have them and we all make them), the truth is moms need grace. As moms, we put so much pressure on ourselves and we are so quick to judge ourselves. We all need to give ourselves grace and forgiveness. A perfect mom does not exist but imperfect moms that love their children and doing the best they can do.
Other readings you might enjoy:
3 MANTRAS FOR MOMS WHEN MOTHERHOOD IS HARD
CREATING BALANCE IN MOTHERHOOD
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