As a mom with three little ones, I know firsthand how amazing and crazy motherhood can be. It’s full of love, laughter, and special moments. But there’s also something not so great that comes with it: mom guilt. It’s that feeling of worry and doubt that sneaks in, making us question if we’re doing a good job as parents. But why does this happen to so many of us and how can we overcome it?
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Understanding Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is a common feeling that all moms feels at one point or another. It’s that nagging sense of self-doubt and worry that creeps in when we think we’re not measuring up as parents. This feeling can stem from various situations and scenarios that many moms encounter in their daily lives.
For instance, maybe it has hit when we can’t attend a special event or missed an important milestone because of work commitments. We might feel guilty for not spending enough quality time with our kids due to a busy schedule or for not being able to provide them with everything they want. It can creep in when we compare ourselves to other moms on social media, feeling like we’re falling short in comparison.
Moms often feel guilty for taking time for themselves, as if prioritizing self-care is somehow neglecting their children. The pressure to balance all the household duties, work, family, and personal needs can lead to overwhelming feelings of mom guilt, leaving us constantly questioning if we’re doing enough for our children.
It’s so important to recognize that mom guilt is a normal part of motherhood and that every mom experiences it at some point or another, regardless of their age, background, or parenting style.
10 Tips to Overcome Mom Guilt
As a mom of three, I know how tough it can be to juggle everything and keep it together. But here are some simple ways to ease that mom guilt and find more joy in your parenting journey:
Be kind to yourself:
Remember, you’re doing your best! No one’s perfect, and it’s okay to mess up sometimes. You WILL mess up–motherhood is a learning and growing journey nearly every day. But when you do mess up, give yourself grace. Allow yourself to learn from mistakes and move forward stronger. You’re doing an incredible job, even on the toughest days.
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Keep it real:
You can’t do everything, and that’s okay. You weren’t ever meant to do this journey alone. I know sometimes it feels like all we have is ourselves and the weight we carry, the mental load seems so heavy. But don’t be afraid to ask for help or take breaks when you need them. Remember, you’re not superhuman, and it’s okay to prioritize what truly matters. Take a step back, breathe, and focus on what you can manage one step at a time.
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Quality time matters:
It’s not about how much time you spend with your kids, but the quality of that time. Be present and cherish those special moments. Life can be busy, and you won’t be able to be there for every single thing. But when you are with your children, make those moments count. Put away distractions, and give them your full attention. And don’t stress about the times you miss. What matters most is the love and connection you share with your children.
Take care of you:
You can’t pour from an empty cup, mama! Make time for yourself to recharge and stay healthy, both mentally and physically. It’s not selfish—it’s necessary for your well-being and for being the best parent you can be. Remember to prioritize self-care, whether it’s taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, or simply enjoying a quiet moment alone with your thoughts. You deserve it.
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Positive vibes only:
Kick those guilt-inducing thoughts to the curb! Remind yourself of all the awesome things you do as a mom EVERY SINGLE DAY, and give yourself some love. Try practicing positive affirmations on repeat– you need to believe you are doing an amazing job. You’re a superhero in your children’s eyes, and your love and dedication are what truly matter. Surround yourself with positivity and banish self-doubt. You’ve got this!
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Lean on your squad:
Share your feelings with your partner and trusted family and friends who get it. You’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for support. Sometimes we just need a good unleash—a vent to let it all out. It’s hard keeping it together 24/7—in fact, it’s nearly impossible. Don’t hesitate to lean on your support system when you need a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on.
Comparison is the thief of joy:
Forget about keeping up with other moms. Focus on YOU and YOUR journey. Social media can easily rob you of this. We often look at what other moms are doing and feel a sense of shame if we’re not doing it too or how they’re doing it. But remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and what works for one family may not work for another. Embrace your own unique style and trust your instincts. You are enough, just as you are.
Stay present:
Enjoy the little moments with your kiddos and let go of worrying about the past or future. Worrying does not bring any good—just harm! Being mindful can help you appreciate the good stuff. Take a moment to pause, breathe, and soak in the beauty of the present moment. Life is happening right now, and there’s so much joy to be found in the simple things. Let go of distractions and worries, and focus on being fully present with your children.
Celebrate wins:
Even the small ones count! Give yourself a pat on the back for all the awesome things you do as a parent. Celebrate the victories, big and small, and take pride in your accomplishments. Whether it’s successfully getting everyone out the door on time or conquering a challenging parenting moment, every achievement deserves recognition. You’re doing an amazing job, and your efforts are making a difference in your children’s lives.
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Remember why you do it:
Think about the love you have for your kids and let that be your guide. You’re doing an amazing job, mama, and your kiddos are lucky to have you! Your love and dedication are what make you such an incredible parent. Keep that love at the forefront of your mind, and let it fuel you through the tough times. Your children are your greatest blessings, and they’re lucky to have a mom as wonderful as you!
